The introverted mum

I am in introvert. I find being around people, even those I adore, tiring. Crowds and people I don't know? I come home exhausted. I need a cup of tea after an hour in the supermarket. Too much noise and I can't think straight (yes, I have 2 boys, that's going work out nicely...)

I'm not a hermit, but I need space, quiet and time alone to recharge my batteries and re-energise myself. Without this down time I am cranky, short-tempered and drained.

Pre-kids I could quite happily spend the bulk of the weekend hanging out at home. Cooking; reading or crafting. I even found the Saturday morning ritual of cleaning the house relaxing; I remember when The Chippy (hubby) and I could get the whole house cleaned in an hour... Now I spend the bulk of my waking hours tidying this tiny house.

I know a lot of mums who miss their social life after having kids. For me, letting go of that was the easy part. In fact, having kids was quite possibly a blessing in disguise; they are the ultimate 'get out of any social occasion' card.

My body? I was pretty ok with giving that over to another human being(s) for a good couple of years too. It wasn't in the best shape to start with.

But one of the things I was least prepared for about motherhood was the complete and utter lack of alone time.

I am pretty much never alone; from the minute I wake up; usually with someones hand in my face, until my kids go to sleep. Most nights, an extra human or 2 end up in our bed. I can't even pee alone. I fantasise about checking into a hotel just to take an uninterrupted shower. I am beyond 'touched out'.

With one kid, this was just bearable. I got my down time, albeit in 40 minute increments, when he napped. That 40 minutes was just enough to tide me over until the next sleep time. When I went back to work I could zone out on the train for an hour each day with a book or a blog.

Now on maternity leave with 2 kids at home, one of whom no longer naps, there is generally always someone in my face. Annoyingly, the  3-year old has decided it is fun to literally be in my face tickling my cheeks at every opportunity. I'm not proud of the way I react to that. After 8 months of basically no alone time, my fuse is short.

The Chippy (hubby) works 5-6 days a week, is gone before we wake up most days, plays sport on Saturday afternoon and has training one night a week. That leaves Sundays. We try to keep these free for "family day" but in reality it's usually spent tag teaming the kids while we each get all the jobs done that we couldn't do during the week with the kids around.

The Chippy is also my opposite and an extrovert so while he tries to sympathise, he can never truly understand.

In fairness he does occasionally tell me, politely, to get out of the house alone for while. But I am a homebody. My hobbies are home-based. I don't want to get out of the house. I want to sit on my comfortable, once-was duck-egg & cream lounge with a cup of tea, a book and some craft and enjoy the sound of silence. Until I remember I miss them, and their noise.