An apology to my second born child

Last week I took a bath with my 8 month old son, Lockster (not his real name). He usually adores the bath but the whole of last week he was losing it every single night. It didn't matter if The Chippy (hubby) bathed him, if I bathed him, if my mum who was visiting one night bathed him. It didn't matter if we bathed him with or without his brother. Earlier, later. More water, less water. More toys. Nothing seemed to help.

By Friday night his hair was getting stinky from not having more than a 35 second bath for a week.

I popped him in his little bath seat. He proceeded to scream blue murder.

Since his older brother was still (yes, still...) eating his dinner and watching "Go Jetters" and The Chippy was home to watch him, I decided to jump in the bath with the baby.

It was only then I realised this was the first time he'd had a bath with mum or dad in his little life. He's been bathed with his brother pretty much since birth because it was easier to kill 2 birds with one stone.

When his older brother was a baby, and evenings were not quite such a chaotic rush, sharing a bath with mum or dad was a regular indulgence.

Not so for my second born. Instead of the leisurely bath time my eldest enjoyed, my youngest is whizzed through the production line of dinner, bath, boob and bed with precision timing. He has to compete with his older brother dawdling through his dinner, while I yell at him from the bathroom to hurry up and finish and get in the bath so I can get them both out and dressed before the baby is yelling for his milk.

So, on Friday night Lockster and I enjoyed a leisurely 20 minute soak. We played with the toys, cuddled and splashed and he was happy again. He has been happy in the bath every night since and I remembered what a great bonding experience it is.

It got me thinking though about the other things the second born misses out on. So for the following Lockster, I am sorry:

• The lack of one-on-one time: We get 2 days alone, just you and I when your brother is at preschool. Unfortunately those 2 days are also my best bet at getting all the housework, cooking and grocery shopping done that I can't get done with 2 kids under my feet. I rarely get a chance to sit still and just be with you outside of feed times.
• Books: I'm sorry. I don't read you nearly as many books as I read your brother. Our days are rushed and I've read them all 1000 times before. Don't feel alone in your neglect though. I have a pile of books next to my bed waiting to be read. Fancy choosing something off mummy's reading list instead? 
• Kids music: Frankly, I didn't really enjoy listening to nursery rhymes and The Wiggles the first time around. You're getting Fleetwood Mac, T-Rex and the Rolling Stones kiddo. You can thank me when you're 17 and you finally realise the old stuff is way better than the new stuff. 
• Long walks in the pram. Or really any walks in the pram. This one is a safety issued. To be honest, I can't handle your brother running 100 miles an hour in front of us, I'm scared he'll get hit crossing a driveway.
• Trips to the park that involve simply laying on a picnic rug and watching the world go by. This used to be my afternoon ritual when your brother was a baby. Now these trips are spent yelling at your brother to come back, wait his turn and put the stick (aka small log) down.
• Baby rhyme time: Ain't nobody got time for that 2nd time round. You think your brother is going to sit still? You're dreaming. 

So I am sorry, you get less of me. I have to share. I am more tired and my fuse is shorter now. But know this, my darling boy; I made all my mistakes with your older brother.